Dad Dispatch 4: Grief

The intertwined nature of grief and joy

This side of my life is slowly coming to an end. On the other side is a beginning – and a new way of being. In this transitional space between me-as-I-am and me-as-I-will-be are many emotions. Grief is one of the more prominent ones.

It’s easy – and perhaps more comfortable – to speak about the excitement to meet our babies, the anticipation of sleepless nights and changing nappies, the worry about balancing work and care.

I’m glad we speak about this stuff these days – I imagine this level of emotional chat wasn’t accessible to many fathers-to-be in the past. I want to speak about my grief, too. So, when people ask me how I’m feeling about becoming a Dad, I mention my grief alongside these other feelings. I’m finding that people get it, and it’s a kindness to be heard.